Over the years I’ve slowly been building up a list of things I’ve learned from running the Web’s pre-eminent break up site – So You’ve Been Dumped – seemingly universal truths so to speak, and so I thought I’d start to blog some of these tidbits. They’re  fairly short simple – it’s not rocket science or a cure for Cancer – but it’s my contribution to the world, I guess.

Starting with Lesson # 1 – There is no good way to dump someone or be dumped.

Every day people come to soyouvebeendumped.com to tell their tale of desertion. More often than not,  quite understandably, they are upset about the way their ex chose to end things.

What I’ve discovered, personally, that there is no good way to end a relationship – the pain free way has yet to be invented.

In my own life, I’ve had exes deal a crushing blow and some who’ve dealt a gentle blow too. Both ways hurt.

If the person is too nice, then there is a false hope in the back of our heads, and if it’s a harsh break up, then we end up reeling from how callous they were.

There is no rule book for breaking-up and rejection hurts no matter how it’s done. As dumpees we often think we could do better in the dumping department – but there is never a good or easy way.

Of course I hear you saying “yeah but Thea there are less bad ways”. I agree.

By and large people think it should be done in person - in private and ideally that’s probably true. But it’s often not the way it’s handled. These days, around here, we’re seeing a increasingly-large amount of splits taking place electronically – instant messaging, by email, by text – even Facebook.

To be honest, I don’t see that number ever dropping off to be honest – only increasing…unfortunately.

Ideally people would be honest about the reason for the split – but more often than not, excuses are made and lies are told. Third parties are denied and only later the existence of ones replacement is to be discovered.

Most of us have wished our exes ended it better on one level or another, but really there is no good way to deliver bad news. I’ve not seen a truly good split in a decade of overseeing the Dumped. But maybe one day, I will…