IN TRANSIT

Sitting at SFO by the window staring at the darkness. I’ve had an emotional few days – filled  with many tears. It’s challenging straddling two worlds and I can’t escape the guilt I feel leaving my father behind. We’ve had a good couple of months, but now it’s time to return to my life and make things happen in 2010 – hopefully for both our benefits!

This is the year we celebrate our 10th birthday on So You’ve Been Dumped. What an amazing decade it’s been. Punctuated with so many highs and lows. It’s time to finish the wee book, film, iPhone app and so forth.

But whether I do that in California or in Scotland remains to be seen.

People think you’re so lucky to live in a foreign country, but really it’s a case of feeling not quite whole in either place – at least for me. California has its draw – of course it does. The weather for one…and the Silly Cone Valley is where it’s all happening technology wise. So that’s a plus in the “pro CA” column…

Scotland also has its rewards…My job, my home, and most importantly my  fabulous friends.  These people have become my “family” over the past two decades (almost).

It may be an erroneous conclusion – but it feels like the Scots make more of an effort to meet up, hang out etc. Perhaps I just need to take off the rose colored specs…

In CA, it seems so many are so caught up in their lives they never quite get around to seeing you (especially those with families)…in spite of so many “Hey I want to see you when you’re here” messages on Facebook…so I end up feeling disappointed a lot in CA. (An outcome I struggle with and have to continually ‘let go’ of.)

Thank goodness for the handful or so of friends who really made the effort to call and see me here. I am so pleased about that. Thank you my lovelies…

For now though, I feel all cried out. The guilt and the conflicted emotions are subsiding and I’m just gonna embrace the present moment. It’s a long day ahead of me – with a long lay over in NJ…

I’m excited to be home in my own flat, hoping there’s at least a little snow still around (though I doubt it). Excited to see my Scottish family over the coming days and even have some Christmas-New Years celebrations this weekend with a precocious 8-year-old. So would you believe I have to go home and wrap presents? I might even pull out my little Christmas tree (it’s two foot and fibre optic) – LOL.

And all being well – I may very well be back on the radio on Sunday Night @ L107. We’ll see…

That’s all from California – next stop Newark – then Bonnie Scotland…I really could use a holiday now.

SPAIN anyone?